Conflict Resolution

“If your brother sins against you,

go and tell him his fault between you and him alone.”

Matthew 18:15

Memorial of St. Jane Frances de Chantal

Oftentimes I find that when people have a problem with another person, they would go and tell everyone about the problem except that person. Yes, it may have some therapeutic effects by venting and unloading with a trusted friend or mentor, but it doesn’t solve the problem. Jesus told His disciples that if we have a problem with another person, we ought to go to that individual in person and not everyone else first. To resolve any conflict, we must face it head on and we must encounter the other. If that doesn’t work then we bring other people in.

There is something special about the 1 on 1 encounter. There is a vulnerability there as well as trust and humility. These enable us to reveal ourselves to the other in a way that touches the heart. It is only when the heart is reached will there be forgiveness, reconciliation, and resolution. When you go to confession, you go before the Lord. At Eucharistic Adoration, it’s just you and Jesus. And when we go to our brother or sister with whom we are having difficulty or trouble, Jesus will be there with you. Only when we bring Christ into the picture will that vulnerability and trust be possible and forgiveness, reconciliation, and resolution will come. So, when problems arise, go to the person, but first to Jesus and ask Him to go with you.